I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
