we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
