she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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