so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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