FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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