I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
And then he peed in my hair
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