I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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