Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
