Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
