i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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