Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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