Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
