Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
