I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize