Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Randomize
