it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You work out of a Hotel?
If that was your dad, he is hot
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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