Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
