I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize