So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
