i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
