The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Boobs are out for the taking
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
