I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
