quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Someone came in the potted fern
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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