3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize