he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize