I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
