i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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