Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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