i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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