At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
