I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
