Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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