I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
