My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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