John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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