She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
