my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
