The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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