have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
