I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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