i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
