just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
