He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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