Tell her she can't have a vagina
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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