I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize