I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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