i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
