This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I want to fling myself into the sun
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
