you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
