I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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