I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
