Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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