I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
