Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
