I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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