some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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