he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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